"A Hundred Weddings"

Although I did not officiate a wedding this past weekend, I read about weddings! If you are looking for an easy read (fiction), I suggest A Hundred Weddings by Cathy Cruise. The main character's (Katie) parents are divorced and at the father's marriage to Vicki with his teenage daughters present he vows, "...together we will wipe the old canvases of our lives clean...knowing that I never truly loved until now..." Katie's younger sister asks, "what were we? His practice family?" 

When I meet with a couple and learn there is a child(ren) from a previous relationship, I want to know will the child(ren) attend and would the couple like the child(ren) to have a roll. I'm also cautious of the readings I select or use of information I gather from the couple because I never want a child to hear something that may negatively impact her/him and/or the biological parent not in attendance. Last spring I had the pleasure of working with a couple that decided to marry. The groom and bride have children from previous marriages. The groom said the bride is "the gal he's been looking for his whole life." A beautiful sentiment, but I wasn't going to quote him for fear of hurting his children.

Sometimes life deals us a severe blow and we are totally lost. Earlier this summer, a bride-to-be carried her baby full term and then the baby passed. And the groom-to-be left. Katie from A Hundred Weddings is lost one night. While on the phone with an ex-boyfriend, he says, "where are you?" and she responds, "the end of the road, literally." "Huh," he said. "No place to go but back." Sometimes we have to re-live the excruciating pain over and over again, before we can go back. This woman lost everything she valued and wanted at the same time. I pray for her, the soul of her baby and for him. They are in tremendous pain that only our Lord can heal.

Katie saw her cousin crying at the altar and couldn't understand why. Getting married is a happy time, but her cousin didn't look happy. Ten years later she asked her cousin, "...why did you cry?" Valerie responded, "...well, I think it was just overwhelming for me. I was only nineteen, you know." Katie pushes, "...but were you happy?" And Valerie says, "Oh honey, it was the happiest day of my life." I take the time to explain happy tears if there are children present because they only know to associate tears with sadness/pain. Again, it's crucial to be attuned to your audience. 

Putting together a wedding script for any couple is always a welcomed challenge. Did I hear the couple correctly? Am I capturing their sensibilities? Once I had a bride who shared she's all butterflies and unicorns so I sent her draft scripts based on self declared sensibility. She quickly let me know that is a side she doesn't show the public!

If you are attending a wedding later this year, really listen to the words spoken by the officiant. Were the words spoken respectful of the bride and groom and those in attendance? 

Wishing you happiness,

Leora

Wedding Updates

It's been too long since I've written about my wonderful and glorious wedding experiences! In April I was at The Tower Club and 2941 Restaurant. The view at the Tower Club is breathtaking and the ambiance at 2941 is grand. At 2941 its as if nature's sanctuary is open for all to enjoy. Early May I was back at 2941, then onto a private farm in Leesburg; Westfields in Chantilly; Strong Mansion and Bull Run Golf Center. This month I was at Oxon Hill Manor, always stunningly beautiful with its offerings of flora and fauna, Bolger Center and Kreeger Museum. I plan to return to Kreeger and tour the gardens, take in the architecture and gaze at the grand artwork. In July and August I return to three favorite venues, Stone Tower Winery, Salamander Resort and Riverside on the Potomac!

Brides wore traditional and non-traditional gowns/dresses while grooms stuck with the all-time favorite black tuxedo although one stepped out in a navy tux!

And the ring-bearers and flower girls! They steal the show!! Alex was the ultimate ring-bearer. He took his duties very seriously. Ethan was a bit shy so his mom walked with him. At one venue, flower petals on the lawn is a no-no, but the flower girl used her imagination, and graced the lawn with imaginary petals.

Weddings are truly magical!

Jason and Fabiola

On April 2, 2016 in Sao Paulo, Brazil, my nephew Jason married the love of his life, Fabiola. My husband Floyd and I were guests at their wedding. It was a wonderful and unique experience to be a guest at a wedding and not the officiant! Fabiola chose the church where her parents were wed 34 years ago to pledge her love to Jason. It's a Catholic church rich with artifacts that help define the church and it's doctrine. There were three weddings held at the church April 2 so Fabiola and the other two brides selected the flowers that would adorn the church for all 3 weddings. Beautiful! Since the cost was shared, the brides could be extravagant in their selection of flowers. There were several customs that I would like to see incorporated in the "right" wedding I officiate in DC/VA/MD. The first showcased the mother-of-the-bride and the groom's father. My brother escorted Fabiola's mother to the altar. The second custom is the mother-of-the-groom escorting her son. Unfortunately my sister-in-law wasn't able to attend so I had the honor of walking Jason down the aisle to the altar. The next custom allows the bridal party to recess to the back of the church forming a greeting line for the bride and groom who then follow. A car was waiting for Jason and Fabiola to take them directly to the reception venue. Their guests greeted them at the reception and all of the family photos were taken in the atrium of the reception venue. The reception was great fun and everyone over the age of 21 enjoyed the national drink of Brazil, Caipirinha (Portuguese pronunciation:  [kajpiˈɾĩj̃ɐ]) ).

Heart Warming

Alex and Miguel married at their home December 18 after a twelve year courtship! Close friends and family members witnessed their words of commitment. This is part of their commitment, "I announce and declare my intention to...love [you], not only when your moments are high, but when they are low, not only when you remember clearly who you are, but when you forget, not only when you are acting with love, but when you are not." It was a lovely, heart-warming ceremony and I am grateful to Alex and Miguel for allowing me to be a part of their wedding celebration.

Grateful

The fall was very busy. I ended September at Patowmack Restaurant in Lovettsville with Erica and Ken and a zillion stink bugs. The views were absolutely breathtaking and thankfully the bugs ignored us.  In October I was at Collingwood Museum in Alexandria with Susan and Lucas, in DC at the Tabard Inn with Afton and Tomorrow and Murray Hill in Leesburg with high school sweethearts Ali and Jesse as they tied the knot after a 10 year courtship! In November I was back at Murray Hill to be with Katherine and Joe, then onto the Whittemore House in DC as Emily and Mark said "I do" in the presence of family and friends. One of the most touching ceremonies occurred in the couples living room on the 45th anniversary of their first date. Kenneth and Lewis, ages 80 and 70, skyped in family and friends to witness their union while their dog Mikey snoozed. The photo above is from their celebration. I am so grateful to each and every couple that invited me to stand with them as they made a lifelong commitment to the love of their life!!!

Today I Marry My Friend

http://www.memoriesofbliss.com/

What a handsome couple! Toni and Jon were married at 2941 Restaurant on an absolutely gorgeous weather day in late August 2014. Jon and Toni are retired soldiers who continue to serve their country. They were a delight to work with. The ceremony started with the presentation of the couple. Their children and grandchildren were asked if they gave their blessing as this couple prepared to pledge their love to the other for as long as life is theirs. A reading from 1 Corinthians 13 was shared that speaks to what love is and is not...truly the composition of unconditional love.Toni and Jon then exchanged nontraditional vows "today I marry my friend, the one I have laughed with and cried with, the one I have learned from and shared with..." I closed with a poem by Laura Hendricks which was so fitting for Jon and Toni...their friendship propelled them to the altar and will continue to propel them through all of the tomorrows yet to come! A special thanks to Marilyn Patterson, Event Manager, Joyous Events LLC.

Love Is In The Air!

On August 17, 2014 Eddie and Shantae pledged their love to each other...the ceremony was quite intimate, it was just the three of us.

Mark and Ola married June 7, 2014 at Glenview Manor before family and friends. The venue is lovely, very fitting for such a handsome couple! Photo courtesy of Sarah Culver,http://www.sarahculver.com