The Joy and Anticipation of Getting to the Altar

Photo credit Danielle Real Photography

Throughout my 30 year career, I’ve witnessed many approaches that couples take in order to help ease the nervous energy as they get to the altar.  Often couples will voluntarily participate in a “first look.” A first look is where the couple sees each other before the start of their wedding ceremony. Although this may typically be staged by the photographer or event planner, the goal is to create an authentic and heartfelt moment before the couple walks down the aisle and greet their guests for the first time. When I married 11 years ago, we didn’t have a first look. In hindsight, I think the private moment would have allowed both of us an opportunity to chat briefly about what awaited us, exchange compliments, and quiet the butterflies! 

Regardless of whether I see the couple sometimes together, sometimes separately before the ceremony, the moment I see a partner or the partners process up the aisle, I have to catch my breath. The moment is so real and so full of anticipation. This past weekend, I had a unique and beautiful moment with a groom. 

I arrived at the venue at 4:15 and saw the groom outside chatting with a guest. We greeted each other and he then took me inside so I could meet his best man, his oldest brother. At the same time, I met his soon-to-be stepsons. The groom was excited and anticipated the wedding starting on time, 5:00 p.m. However, there were several unexpected issues that delayed the start of the ceremony which included late arriving guests, a bridesmaid feeling ill, and a very nervous groom. Maybe it was nervous energy, but the groom was overcome by emotions. His parents, the bride’s mother, and a groomsman all took a few moments to speak with him before the start of the processional. 

It was finally time for the wedding to start and for everyone to get into position.  I had the pleasure and honor of walking down the aisle with the groom. I tried to interject levity and thankfully, he seemed to be okay with my chatter. I told him he was a Rockstar and urged him to smile at his “fans!” As the bridal party processed, I asked him if he was aware that his baseball team had lost the night before to the worst team in the American League. Again, I was attempting to ease his emotions. I think it worked. When his bride began walking toward him with her father, he smiled broadly. At the same time, I’m gently patting his back and whispering to him, “you got this!” Once the groom took his bride’s hand, calm came over him. It was magical for me to witness such an intimate moment between two people.  This is one of the reasons why I absolutely my work of being a wedding officiant.  I get to witness some of the most amazing moments - Thank you!

The bride and groom and their children participated in a unity ceremony. At the conclusion of the unity ceremony, I invited them to enjoy a group hug. I said to the guests, “this is love!” I believe the groom, bride, and the children appreciated that private moment in the presence of 200+ guests. 

What I’ve learned throughout the years is that although things may cause a delay in the set schedule, the key is to be flexible. Couples may be anxious, bridal party members may get ill, levity may occur.  But always remember the reason why everyone is gathered together and the ultimate goal of the event…your wedding day!  Just breathe, try your best to take it all in, and enjoy!

The Best Part of the Wedding Process for Me!

Recently, a bride-to-be asked me which part of the wedding process do I enjoy the most. Although I’ve been asked this before, I thought now is a good time to answer the question publicly!

A Person’s Best Friend

I most enjoy the initial meeting, when I’m asking the couple questions about them, such as how did you meet, how long have you been a couple, what do you most admire about your partner. In getting to know the couple, I also ask various other questions such are you pet owners. I’m a huge dog lover and if they are dog owners, we generally connect over our joint love for dogs. I’ve had four rescues in my adult life, two miniature poodles and two Maltese. 

In January 2021, I met a couple who opened their home to three rescues, but the rescue that captured my heart is Jerome. Jerome is a pit bull who was adopted from a pit bull rescue organization. Jerome is a “senior citizen,” happy and well-loved in his forever home. His mommies recognized he needs special loving as he lives out this season of his life. 

Then there’s Leonard. Leonard has anxiety issues. He seems to be okay one-on-one with the soon to be bride, but when the groom-to-be leaves, Leonard becomes anxious. Leonard was named after the beloved grandfather of the groom. The couple are dedicated to helping Leonard be less anxious when his male caregiver isn’t home.

For the Love of Cats 

                Patsy Cline

Please don’t think I don’t care for cats. I do! My mom was a lover of cats. After I left home in 1977 to pursue a master’s degree, my sister enlisted in the Army; and my brother married. Our mom decided it was too quiet so she rescued two kittens whom she named Rainbow and Harmony. The “girls” were followed by Pepper and then Patsy Cline.

I have the honor of standing with a couple this fall who are parents to two cats. And in June 2022, I will officiate a wedding for a couple with three cats. The soon to be groom, refers to the female as “daddy’s” girl. 

America’s Favorite Past Time

Baseball is another topic that allows me to connect with a couple. I recently meet with a couple marrying April 2022. One is an Orioles’ fan and the other is a Cubs fan. I’m loyal to the Washington Nationals, however, my husband and I have been to 17 of the 30 MLB parks. So I was able to able to talk with the Cubby about my experience at Wrigley Field and the other about Camden Yards. It’s always great fun to talk with couples about the game of baseball, the fan experience and the uniqueness of each ballpark. Aside from Nationals’ Park, PNC is awesome.

In May 2019, I experienced one of the biggest thrills of my tenure as a wedding officiant. I officiated a wedding in the Silver Slugger Suite at Nationals’ Park. The ceremony occurred before the first pitch. After the ceremony, I joined my husband at our regular seats and we watched the Nationals defeat the Cubs 5 – 2. What an exciting evening!

Compassion, A Necessary Trait

These past 14 months, I’ve been able to connect with my brides and grooms in the health care field. Although I’m not involved with the physical well-being of others, I am a mental health professional. I was able to reach out to my couples who planned to marry in 2020, but had to reschedule or cancel their wedding due to Covid-19. I stayed in touched via email to let them know I was thinking of them, grateful for their commitment and hopeful that we would be together soon at their rescheduled wedding celebration.

My sharing with you is just a sliver of what I experience about 50 times each year. Getting to know couples informally so when their formal celebration rolls around, they each know I appreciate their humanness! 

 

 

THE BUZZ OF CICADAS AT YOUR OUTDOOR WEDDING

MAY 5, 2021

Cicada, A 17-Year Phenomena

Photo courtesy of @santaanaweddings

When I think about outdoor weddings, I think about several factors that can impact the ceremony. Noise from traffic, airplanes flying overhead, an unhappy guest (usually under the age of 5) and the general laughter from the guests. This summer I may have to contend with the noise of the billions of cicadas expected to descend on the Washington, D.C. metropolitan area. The phenomenon happens once every 17 years. Cicadas are alive underground eating tree roots for sustenance. As the ground warms up and reaches 64 degrees, the bugs begin emerging in mass. “The District, Maryland and Virginia are likely to host more of these animals than any other of the 14 states that share the experience.” The wildlife will begin its eating frenzy. Birds, squirrels, chipmunks, skunks, ants, raccoons, snakes, frogs and possums will over indulge on cicadas. Be aware when you are walking your dog, your furry friend may try to consume a cicada or two.

Preparation for Cicadas?

So how do you prepare for your outdoor wedding knowing that possibly millions of these uninvited guests will crash your celebration? Unfortunately, you can’t avoid them.  But, there are a few things you can do. Here are 4 suggestions to make it easier to deal with these unwanted guests:

• Be prepared for the noise.  Hopefully, your DJ will adjust the volume of the music to try and drum out the buzz.
• Make sure your wedding officiant is wearing a mic to help with projection. If you can, have mics for you and your partner as well.
• Rather than stand on the ground, lay an ornate area rug or throw on the ground for you and your partner to stand-on during the ceremony.
• Ask the venue coordinator if someone can canvass the area maybe 15 minutes prior to the start of your wedding ceremony to sweep away any cicadas or the remnants of cicadas from the immediate area where the guests and bride party will congregate.

I think we can all agree that cicadas can be a distraction during your ceremony. Luckily, they are harmless.  Personally, I will be more focused on mosquitoes at dusk aiming for whatever exposed body part they can bite. I still remember years ago being in tears after I being attacked by mosquitoes. Thankfully, once I returned to my car, I was able to take an antihistamine to calm the itching. Definitely not a fun experience!

Bottom Line

Remember to focus on the reality you are marrying the person who complements you, the person you plan to spend the rest of your life with. Think that in addition to all the wedding related memories, on your 17th, 34th, 51st and so on anniversaries, you will be joined by a generation of cicadas whose ancestors witnessed your “I do” the summer of 2021!

A LITTLE HISTORY ABOUT WEDDING RINGS!

 

The History

By now you know the name of my business is “With This Ring, I Thee Wedd Ceremonies.” When I started my business 29 years ago, I thought those words were so romantic. And I still view them the same way, however, it’s a long business name with one-word intentionally misspelled. I’ve learned over the years from my couples, they don’t always want to exchange rings at that moment. Also, maybe because of their career, a ring isn’t always appropriate. In Western culture, a wedding ring can be traced to ancient Rome and Greece.

Many couples choose to wear their wedding band on their left hand, fourth finger, typically known as the “ring” finger. Often a bride/groom will move their engagement ring to their right hand prior to the ceremony and afterwards, moves their engagement ring back to the left hand, ring finger. Why? Tradition says there’s a vein that runs directly from the ring finger to the heart although science doesn’t support this claim. It’s a purely sentimental tradition to wear the wedding band closer to the heart.

My Thoughts Regarding My Wedding Rings!

Photo courtesy of Lynn Dunston

On a personal note, I asked my husband for an anniversary band one Christmas. I thought when we traveled, I would wear that ring and leave my engagement ring and wedding bands home. [Yes bands, I wear my mom’s gold wedding bands. I’m terribly sentimental. Floyd wears my stepfather’s band.]

Floyd’s initial comment after my request was, “Leora, whether you wear a ring or not, you are still married.” I gave him a look that said, “really!” Needless to say, Floyd exceeded my expectations and gifted me a beautiful anniversary band. I wear it all the time!

I have reflected many times on what Floyd said about a wedding band. A ring doesn’t define my marital status, I do. When I respect the relationship we share, when I read articles to enhance our relationship and share with him what I learned, and when I’m present for Floyd, I’m demonstrating I’m married and committed to the success of our relationship. The ring may say to the world, I love and am loved, but I bet the average stranger could care less about my marital status, they have more important things to focus on.

Sometimes I refer to this passage because it's not about wear a ring, it's about acting a way that respects my marriage, Floyd and me: “Put on then…beloved, compassion, kindness, lowliness, meekness, and patience, forbearing one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other...and above all these put-on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”

My Challenge to You

I invite you to think about what your ring(s) means to you. What do you do daily to express to your partner you are committed for life to the success of your relationship? Yes, I mean daily. You are mistaken if you don’t think your relationship requires your attention daily. Make a gesture daily to reaffirm your vows and affirm your partner. Don’t wait for your anniversary to celebrate each other and your relationship. You, your partner and your marriage are worthy of daily celebrations!

 

 AMAZING OUTDOOR VENUES FOR MINI-WEDDINGS IN THE DMV AREA

APRIL 12, 2021

CONSIDER AN OUTDOOR SPRING OR SUMMER MINI-WEDDING IN DC., MARYLAND, OR VIRGINIA

Happy Spring! Warmer temperatures, blooming trees, shrubs, perennials and annuals are calling many of us to the great outdoors. We are walking, biking, and going from point A to point B on a scooter or skateboard. We are sitting on the grass, with and without a blanket or on the steps on famous and infamous buildings taking in the beauty of the DMV (District of Columbia, Maryland and Virginia). The pandemic is keeping all of us closer to home which is allowing us to explore our neighborhoods and others’ neighborhoods. 

Photo credit: www.michellejonesphoto.com

This calendar year I’ve asked couples to meet me outdoors at local parks for their mini-wedding ceremony. During the pandemic, although I prefer officiating wedding outdoors for safety reasons, I have taken steps at indoor ceremonies to protect the couple and me such as standing at least 6 feet apart and opening windows when possible. Of the 40+ mini-ceremonies I had the privilege of officiating the first quarter of 2021, less than 10% were conducted indoors. My couples are quite flexible which makes me appreciate them so much.

Photo credit: www.michellejonesphoto.com

OUTDOOR VENUES IN OLD TOWN ALEXANDRIA AND THE POTOMAC

In the Old Town Alexandria area, you could find me officiating an intimate wedding ceremony at the public gardens at The Carlyle House Historic Park. What a hidden gem! I also met couples at the Alexandria Waterfront Park which is always alive with people, children and dogs. Jones Point Park offers scenic views of the Potomac River along with MGM National Harbor Resort and Casino; National Harbor; the Ferris Wheel; and a replica of Air Force One. There is so much to Jones Point Park to explore. The Woodrow Wilson Bridge spans part of the park and the arches of the bridge offer spectacular opportunities for amateur and professional photographers. There’s also a lighthouse in the park which is surrounded by flowering trees, perfect for wedding photos.

Another favorite is Green Spring Farm Park in Fairfax County. The Park has two gazebos with totally different vibes that are available for rent. The various gardens are colorful havens and great for wedding photos.

OUTDOOR VENUES AND PARKS IN THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA

In the District of Columbia, the Tidal Basin, D.C. War Memorial, the monuments, Meridian Park, Hains Point, The Spanish Steps, Rawlins Park and Bartholdi are great choices. Something is always blooming at these parks. Remember beautiful Crepe Myrtles bloom June through September and are just as pretty as Dogwoods and Cherry Trees! 

So, if you are looking for atmosphere, vibrant colors, conversation starters, art works, maybe shelter from them elements for a small, intimate wedding, check out the parks in your neighborhood. You also have the opportunity to “pay it forward” by making a donation to the park!

No Ceremony, Just Make It Legal!

 Several times a month, I will receive a call or email message from a couple interested in fulfilling the legal requirement to be married with the qualifier, no ceremony! Ceremony is defined as "a formal act or set of formal acts established by custom or authority as proper to a special occasion, such as a wedding, religious rite, etc." I cannot sign a marriage license without gaining the consent of the individuals involved. At a minimum, I have to ask, "do you take this person to be your legally wedded spouse?" If you have a celebration planned for a later date that includes family and friends, please note that the date your marriage license is signed by an individual who has local authority to sign a marriage license is the date the court views as the date you were married. You may have a celebratory event at a later time and you may recognize that date as your "anniversary," but the date on your marriage license is the date you were legally married. So why not make it special and memorable? It doesn't take away from the celebratory event planned for another day.

I suggest you use standard traditional vows for the legal ceremony knowing that you can expand the traditional vows for your celebratory event by adding personal pledges. For example, the tradition vows are: "I, [name] take you, [name] to be my lawfully wedded spouse. I promise to love and cherish you, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, for better for worse, and forsaking all others, keep myself only unto you, for so long as we both shall live." For the celebratory gathering, you could add, "During our marriage, I promise to help you when you ask for help and ask you to help me when I ask for help." 

Also, do you know the law doesn't require the exchange of rings? That particular gesture traces back to ancient Egyptians who reportedly exchanged wedding rings dating back to 4000 BC. The wedding ring is a circle symbolizing the never-ending union of marriage. So if you would rather save the ring exchange for the event that includes family and friends, please do so. 

Before I sign the license, I pronounce you legally wed and invite you to share a kiss to seal your promises! You participated in a brief ceremony and now you are ready to begin you happily ever after!

Love Prevails During a Pandemic

Hello!

The during the first two months of 2020, love was alive and well! I officiated 16 weddings during that period. This includes a variety of elopements, formal and informal ceremonies with guests in attendance and license signings. One signing occurred at a restaurant while the couple was enjoying lunch although they stopped eating long enough to say, "I do!" This highlights you can be as non-traditional as you want to be. Oh, I had two couples marry on February 29, Leap Day!

I took a break and didn't work the month of March. Instead I got organized and worked on draft ceremony scripts for couples planning to marry later in the year. 

My first wedding impacted by Covid-19 was scheduled for March 29, 2020. Then many of my April weddings either rescheduled for late 2020 or postponed until 2021. This was true for much of the rest of the year. Some weddings moved forward, but redesigned. This pattern continued through October. I'm happy to report the couple scheduled to marry March 29 married November 8, 2020 in the presence of a downsized gathering of family and friends.

Although Covid-19 dictated the size of weddings, it didn't stop couples from marrying. I'm grateful to all the couples I had the privilege of meeting and standing with on their wedding day!

One of the highlights of the 2020 wedding season was officiating at venues new to me. I was at Lars Anderson House, a Gilded Age mansion located in NW, DC; The Mansion at Strathmore located in North Bethesda; Fathom Gallery, an intimate space with a lovely rooftop garden in NW, DC; Bartholdi Park, SW; The Spy Museum; The Barn at Pleasant Acres, St. Leonard, Maryland; MGM atrium, National Harbor, Maryland; and The Conrad Hotel, NW, DC. 

Another highlight was the magical, intimate vibe so many of these weddings emitted. The floral designs and colors were bright, vibrant, rich and stunning. Add to the beautiful flowers draping, arches, arbors, hanging tealights, and potted plants and the romantic feel became real. Also, many times there were more vendors in attendance then guests. We got an opportunity to interact more closely and learn more about each other's craft. 

Many venues took the temperature of all attendees or a family member was assigned this duty. Hand sanitizer was everywhere and often times the guests and vendors wore a mask. 

Love survived in 2020! Many, many couples realized they wanted to be together during this unprecedented time. So they postponed the big party and the adventurous honeymoon. They surrounded themselves with the people who love them the most and they love. Thankfully there were various mediums like Facebook, FaceTime, live streaming and Zoom that allowed people who couldn't physically attend still celebrate and champion the couple's wedding festivities.

I move into the 2021 wedding season hopeful because I know love prevails!

Leora

What A Glorious Year!

Hello Friends! I can't believe I haven't told you anything about the current wedding season, 2019. It has been a great year, filled with laughter, heartfelt moments and happy tears! My 2019 wedding season began in April at Fort Belvoir's Officer's Club with Gloria and Leo. In May I officiated a wedding ceremony in the Silver Slugger Suite at Nationals Park. What an awesome experience!! From the time I arrived until the final pitch, I felt like I had been transported to a different world. The attendants were attentive, the couple glowed, the guests were mesmerized and the Nationals beat the Cubs. June found me at the Springfield Country Club, Bon Air Rose Garden, Carnegie Institution for Science and Zion Springs Farm. In July I was at Woodlawn Plantation and 2941 Restaurant. August I stood with a couple at the District Winery and in August I was at Herrington on the Bay. 1757 Golf Club and Kent Island Manor. September started at one of my favorite venues, The Carlyle House and from there I went to the Piedmont Club, Embassy Suites, Harbour View and River Farm. On October 4 I stood with David and Kathleen at the Winery at Bull Run on a beautiful fall afternoon. Saturday October 5, I had the honor of standing with Meaghan and David at The Line in DC. 

I am blessed to have 10 more weddings before the 2019 wedding season concludes. I will be at a private home, Airlie Conference Center, Potomac Point Winery and Restaurant, the Tower Club, Embassy Suites, The Ritz, Riverside on the Potomac and 2941 Restaurant. And each of these weddings will be marked by the special rapport I share with each of the couples.

I close this post with the following poem by James Weldon Johnson, a 2018 couple introduced me to...I'm moved by the words and sentiment. 

“When buffeted and beaten by life's storms,

When by the bitter cares of life oppressed,

I want no surer haven than your arms,

I want no sweeter heaven than your breast.

When over my life's way there falls the blight

Of sunless days, and nights of starless skies; 

Enough for me, the calm and steadfast light

That softly shines within your loving eyes.

The world, for me, and all the world can hold

Is circled by your arms;

for me there lies,

Within the lights and shadows of your eyes,

The only beauty that is never old.”

An Amazing 2018 Wedding Season, Part II

Greetings! I shared in An Amazing 2018 Wedding Season, Part I blog post that I would post a recap of the weddings I officiated the last two months of 2018. On November 2, I was at Harbour View in Woodbridge. The owner, Lisa Krauss, is a jewel! She and her team are awesome, doing whatever is needed to make the day special for the couple. Chris and Camille are in love and in like! They are such a special couple and so much fun to be around. Camille and Chris' ceremony ended with the following quote, a quote tattooed on the arm of a July bride, Erika.  "Hold fast to dreams for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. Hold fast to dreams for when dreams go, life is a barren field, frozen with snow." Dreams by Langston Hughes

Laura Ritchie, Principal Event Designer, Grit & Grace, introduced me to Joey and Emily who wed at Salamander Resort and Spa, Middleburg. They wed late afternoon November 3, outside. It was a bit chilly, but we made it. I know I say all of my couples are beautiful, but they really are! With Emily and Joey's involvement, we crafted a ceremony that was meaningful to them, full of love, passion and humor. From the vows exchanged, each promised "to love...in the good times as well as the bad and even more during the ugly." Marriage is wonderful, however it does require daily work.

On November 11 at The Little Inn of Washington, Nailah and Jack married. It was a brisk afternoon and yet the couple married on a grassy knoll in the presence of nature's glory. It was just the couple, the photographer and me. The ceremony began with the following quote penned by Maya Angelou, "In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world, there is no love for you like mine."

Often weddings take me to a new venue...this time to Zion Springs Farm. Jasmine and Sydney married November 17, 2018 on a chilly day, but the brides prevailed and married in the presence of their families and friends as the sun was setting. They are beautiful young women, full of life, love, and potential! The brides penned their vows that were marked with passion and humor. And then the party began and what a party it was.

I was blessed to officiate 4 weddings at 2941 Restaurant during the year. My last wedding for 2018 at this venue was December 1. Lusia and Victor married on a rainy day, but the sun shined fully on them as they said "I do!" The energy in the room was awesome and I thoroughly enjoyed my time with this special couple and their guests. The staff at 2941 is awesome and responsive which makes 2941 one of my favorite venues!

December 8 took me to a loft apartment in Old Town Alexandria for Connor and Amanda's ceremony in the presence of their families. The couple incorporated several touches to personalize their union and involve their families.

Harbour View welcomed me again on December 15 for Charlotte and Mauricio's wedding. The decor was magical with tiny white lights and draping along with Disney themed touches such as the centerpieces on the dinner tables...a single red rose under glass...a nod to the movie Beauty and the Breast! And I added several quotes from various Disney movies to the script that resonated with the couple. Thanks for allowing me the freedom to balance your desires with reverence suitable for such a major step as marriage.

Who would have thought that a lovely couple who met at Gadsby's Tavern at an English Country Dance would ask me to officiate their wedding ceremony in the presence of their families and friends! Well, Charles and Michelle did just that. I concluded their ceremony with an excerpt from Gift From the Sea about the importance of being in the moment. After the kiss, the happy couple danced a waltz. Oh, did I mention they and about half of their guests were dressed in period clothing? It was grand!

The 2018 wedding season was amazing...I met so many wonderful couples who decided to take their relationship to the next level, marriage. And I was invited to stand with them on their wedding day to witness their exchange of I do's. I'm excited for 2019, who knows where I will be and who I will be with...it really doesn't matter much, every wedding I have the honor of officiating is grand!!

An Amazing 2018 Wedding Season, Part I

The 2018 wedding season began for me on January 27, 2018 at the Carnegie Institute of Science in DC. The bride wore a beautiful gown that took my back to the elegance of Jackie O! The groom wore tails and the decor was over the top. In March, I was at the Athenaeum in Old Town Alexandria for an intimate late afternoon ceremony. 

In April, I had the honor of officiating a wedding at the Fairmont Hotel in DC. The attire was black tie and the wedding party and guests were stunning in tuxedos and ball gowns. The bride was stunningly beautiful and her groom was so handsome. 

I enjoyed a wedding held at DAR, it's historical and regal and it holds so much history. Everytime I'm there to officiate a wedding, I am humbled by the opportunity I currently have and the opportunity denied to opera singer Marian Anderson. 

At the Salamander Resort in Middleburg, VA, in May, at the request of the bride and groom, I read Beauty That Is Never Old by James Weldon Johnson at their wedding...a passionate and romantic poem. 

Have you been to District Winery in DC yet? I was there to officiate a wedding in June and again in September. Both couples are fantastic and huge dog-lovers. The views from the rooftop are amazing. 

Fate took my back to DAR in July for a formal ceremony that was absolutely beautiful! A violinist played during the ceremony and a live band had everyone on the dance floor. In August, on a warm and humid day, in Haymarket, I had the honor of standing with two brides that at the time were both on active duty. I had such great fun.

The September weddings were over the top gorgeous and I was blessed to stand with some amazing couples in Falls Church (2941), Leesburg (Raspberry Plain and ROTP), DC (District Winery, La Vie and Hotel Monaco), and Middleburg ( Goodstone Inn). 

A very happy couple stood in the 250 year old stables of Riverside on the Potomac in Leesburg and said, "I do," in October. October ended with a wedding at Jones Point Park on a cold, rainy day, but the brides' smiles were not diminished!

Stay tuned to learn about my experiences during the months of November and December. 

I truly love what I do, I have the opportunity to meet awesome couples doing wonderful things in their communities. Why do I love meeting,  learning and embracing what's important to these couples? Each couple allows me into their lives, sharing intimacies and trusting me not to violate their trust. And on their wedding day, I watch their expressions as they pledge to be a couple forever. It doesn't get much better!

The 2017 Wedding Year Summary!

What a year it has been! My first wedding of the 2017 season was April 8 with Ashlee and Justin at the Tower Club, Fairfax. In mid-April, Vanessa and Daniel married in the presence of family and their pet pig, Chuleta. I'm nuts for dogs and meeting and interacting with Chuleta was a blast!

I had the honor of standing with Will and Rebecca on May 6 at the groom's parents home in The Plains. Although it rained, the ceremony was held in the garden and it was magical. Jeff and Kerry married May 13 at Westfields. Jeff said about Kerry, "she's the gal I've been looking for my entire life!" Later that month, Brittany and Antonio married at Strong Mansion. A sweet, charming, beautiful couple.

In June I stood with the handsome Ade and lovely Natana at Oxon Hill Manor.  My first wedding at the Kreeger Museum was exquisite. Javid and Siobhan stood before an intimate gathering of friends and family on June 17. The month ended at another new venue for me, Bolger Center. Michelle and Chuckie were so happy on their wedding day.

I found myself at Restaurant 2941 for Kia and Shawn's wedding and Riverside on the Potomac with Alexis and Tom in July. In August, I was blessed to be at two of my many favorite venues, Stone Tower Winery and Salamander Resort.
September was another awesome month for I had the honor of standing with such a fun couple, Amir and Kristin (9/2/17) at the Ritz Carlton Georgetown. My soul connected with Terri and Mike and so on September 3 we stood in their manicured backyard in Chantilly to complete the marriage ritual. Shaketta a dye-hard Dallas fan and Eric who remains devoted to Buffalo married at Belmont Conference Center on the most enchanting fall evening, September 29.

And there is so much to say about October! From Riverside on the Potomac to the Crown Plaza Tyson's, to the University of Richmond, Cannon Chapel to Westfield's Golf Center I was honored to stand with some incredible couples. My 2017 wedding season concluded with a wedding at The District Winery November 3, DC; and Restaurant 2941 on November 4.

There were many more weddings and each one is special to me for different reasons so I'm going to close by sharing one final wedding...well, two weddings with you. Natalia and Misha married in her parents backyard on June 25. Her older brother Pablo and his bride-to-be Brenda were part of their bridal party. On August 19 when Pablo and Brenda married, Natalia and Misha were part of their bridal party and I had the pleasure of officiating their wedding ceremony. I consider myself part of the family!

Thanks to all of the couples that allowed me to stand with them on their wedding day in the presence of their families and friends and in some instances, their 4-legged children! I am blessed to have been welcomed into your lives.

Be well,
Leora

"A Hundred Weddings"

Although I did not officiate a wedding this past weekend, I read about weddings! If you are looking for an easy read (fiction), I suggest A Hundred Weddings by Cathy Cruise. The main character's (Katie) parents are divorced and at the father's marriage to Vicki with his teenage daughters present he vows, "...together we will wipe the old canvases of our lives clean...knowing that I never truly loved until now..." Katie's younger sister asks, "what were we? His practice family?" 

When I meet with a couple and learn there is a child(ren) from a previous relationship, I want to know will the child(ren) attend and would the couple like the child(ren) to have a roll. I'm also cautious of the readings I select or use of information I gather from the couple because I never want a child to hear something that may negatively impact her/him and/or the biological parent not in attendance. Last spring I had the pleasure of working with a couple that decided to marry. The groom and bride have children from previous marriages. The groom said the bride is "the gal he's been looking for his whole life." A beautiful sentiment, but I wasn't going to quote him for fear of hurting his children.

Sometimes life deals us a severe blow and we are totally lost. Earlier this summer, a bride-to-be carried her baby full term and then the baby passed. And the groom-to-be left. Katie from A Hundred Weddings is lost one night. While on the phone with an ex-boyfriend, he says, "where are you?" and she responds, "the end of the road, literally." "Huh," he said. "No place to go but back." Sometimes we have to re-live the excruciating pain over and over again, before we can go back. This woman lost everything she valued and wanted at the same time. I pray for her, the soul of her baby and for him. They are in tremendous pain that only our Lord can heal.

Katie saw her cousin crying at the altar and couldn't understand why. Getting married is a happy time, but her cousin didn't look happy. Ten years later she asked her cousin, "...why did you cry?" Valerie responded, "...well, I think it was just overwhelming for me. I was only nineteen, you know." Katie pushes, "...but were you happy?" And Valerie says, "Oh honey, it was the happiest day of my life." I take the time to explain happy tears if there are children present because they only know to associate tears with sadness/pain. Again, it's crucial to be attuned to your audience. 

Putting together a wedding script for any couple is always a welcomed challenge. Did I hear the couple correctly? Am I capturing their sensibilities? Once I had a bride who shared she's all butterflies and unicorns so I sent her draft scripts based on self declared sensibility. She quickly let me know that is a side she doesn't show the public!

If you are attending a wedding later this year, really listen to the words spoken by the officiant. Were the words spoken respectful of the bride and groom and those in attendance? 

Wishing you happiness,

Leora

Wedding Updates

It's been too long since I've written about my wonderful and glorious wedding experiences! In April I was at The Tower Club and 2941 Restaurant. The view at the Tower Club is breathtaking and the ambiance at 2941 is grand. At 2941 its as if nature's sanctuary is open for all to enjoy. Early May I was back at 2941, then onto a private farm in Leesburg; Westfields in Chantilly; Strong Mansion and Bull Run Golf Center. This month I was at Oxon Hill Manor, always stunningly beautiful with its offerings of flora and fauna, Bolger Center and Kreeger Museum. I plan to return to Kreeger and tour the gardens, take in the architecture and gaze at the grand artwork. In July and August I return to three favorite venues, Stone Tower Winery, Salamander Resort and Riverside on the Potomac!

Brides wore traditional and non-traditional gowns/dresses while grooms stuck with the all-time favorite black tuxedo although one stepped out in a navy tux!

And the ring-bearers and flower girls! They steal the show!! Alex was the ultimate ring-bearer. He took his duties very seriously. Ethan was a bit shy so his mom walked with him. At one venue, flower petals on the lawn is a no-no, but the flower girl used her imagination, and graced the lawn with imaginary petals.

Weddings are truly magical!

Jason and Fabiola

On April 2, 2016 in Sao Paulo, Brazil, my nephew Jason married the love of his life, Fabiola. My husband Floyd and I were guests at their wedding. It was a wonderful and unique experience to be a guest at a wedding and not the officiant! Fabiola chose the church where her parents were wed 34 years ago to pledge her love to Jason. It's a Catholic church rich with artifacts that help define the church and it's doctrine. There were three weddings held at the church April 2 so Fabiola and the other two brides selected the flowers that would adorn the church for all 3 weddings. Beautiful! Since the cost was shared, the brides could be extravagant in their selection of flowers. There were several customs that I would like to see incorporated in the "right" wedding I officiate in DC/VA/MD. The first showcased the mother-of-the-bride and the groom's father. My brother escorted Fabiola's mother to the altar. The second custom is the mother-of-the-groom escorting her son. Unfortunately my sister-in-law wasn't able to attend so I had the honor of walking Jason down the aisle to the altar. The next custom allows the bridal party to recess to the back of the church forming a greeting line for the bride and groom who then follow. A car was waiting for Jason and Fabiola to take them directly to the reception venue. Their guests greeted them at the reception and all of the family photos were taken in the atrium of the reception venue. The reception was great fun and everyone over the age of 21 enjoyed the national drink of Brazil, Caipirinha (Portuguese pronunciation:  [kajpiˈɾĩj̃ɐ]) ).

Heart Warming

Alex and Miguel married at their home December 18 after a twelve year courtship! Close friends and family members witnessed their words of commitment. This is part of their commitment, "I announce and declare my intention to...love [you], not only when your moments are high, but when they are low, not only when you remember clearly who you are, but when you forget, not only when you are acting with love, but when you are not." It was a lovely, heart-warming ceremony and I am grateful to Alex and Miguel for allowing me to be a part of their wedding celebration.

Grateful

The fall was very busy. I ended September at Patowmack Restaurant in Lovettsville with Erica and Ken and a zillion stink bugs. The views were absolutely breathtaking and thankfully the bugs ignored us.  In October I was at Collingwood Museum in Alexandria with Susan and Lucas, in DC at the Tabard Inn with Afton and Tomorrow and Murray Hill in Leesburg with high school sweethearts Ali and Jesse as they tied the knot after a 10 year courtship! In November I was back at Murray Hill to be with Katherine and Joe, then onto the Whittemore House in DC as Emily and Mark said "I do" in the presence of family and friends. One of the most touching ceremonies occurred in the couples living room on the 45th anniversary of their first date. Kenneth and Lewis, ages 80 and 70, skyped in family and friends to witness their union while their dog Mikey snoozed. The photo above is from their celebration. I am so grateful to each and every couple that invited me to stand with them as they made a lifelong commitment to the love of their life!!!

Today I Marry My Friend

http://www.memoriesofbliss.com/

What a handsome couple! Toni and Jon were married at 2941 Restaurant on an absolutely gorgeous weather day in late August 2014. Jon and Toni are retired soldiers who continue to serve their country. They were a delight to work with. The ceremony started with the presentation of the couple. Their children and grandchildren were asked if they gave their blessing as this couple prepared to pledge their love to the other for as long as life is theirs. A reading from 1 Corinthians 13 was shared that speaks to what love is and is not...truly the composition of unconditional love.Toni and Jon then exchanged nontraditional vows "today I marry my friend, the one I have laughed with and cried with, the one I have learned from and shared with..." I closed with a poem by Laura Hendricks which was so fitting for Jon and Toni...their friendship propelled them to the altar and will continue to propel them through all of the tomorrows yet to come! A special thanks to Marilyn Patterson, Event Manager, Joyous Events LLC.

Love Is In The Air!

On August 17, 2014 Eddie and Shantae pledged their love to each other...the ceremony was quite intimate, it was just the three of us.

Mark and Ola married June 7, 2014 at Glenview Manor before family and friends. The venue is lovely, very fitting for such a handsome couple! Photo courtesy of Sarah Culver,http://www.sarahculver.com

"Our Soul Mate Is The One Who Makes Life Come To Life”

Photo courtesy of Tracy Timmester, www.timmesterphoto.com

Friends and family of Katrina and Eric along with the couple's two dogs, Thatcher and Oliver, joined the bride and groom at Chrysalis Vineyards to witness the couple's marriage. It was fitting that they celebrated the beginning of their new family at the Vineyard, a meaningful place for Eric and Katrina representing the adventure and happiness that defines their relationship. From a poem by Richard Bach, the couple embraced the following sentiment, "our soul mate is the one who makes life come to life.” 

Out of the Mouth of Babes

Photo courtesy of Carrie Holbo Photography

Mark and Jessi were married July 19 in Potomac, Maryland at Rockwood Manor a Montgomery County property. She's a reading specialist and works with first graders. Jessi asked her students for advice and these are some of the suggestions offered and shared during the ceremony.  Stanley offered advice good for all of us, “You should hug each other. You should have fun. You should both pay the bills… and you should both eat breakfast.” Jailais says, “Spend time together. Just have fun. DO NOT BE IN THE HOUSE ALL DAY.”  Gabriel adds, “Hold hands, and a real gentleman will help their bride. Maybe take her out.” Lyric thinks, ”The groom should be helpful and grateful and cook her some soup if she is sick, and act like a loving, polite gentleman… and take her to Golden Corral.”